A day's good ending

Today anything that could go wrong, did go wrong.

Firstly, my car started to stall on me in the middle of the highway!  The engine kind of pulled back and then it just went dead.  I thought it was the battery but when I tried it again, it worked.  So I went on my way for my appointments, then picked up my teenager and sent her to school.  Again, in the middle of the highway it acted up.  I was really nervous that I might not get my teenager to school on time.  Thankfully, it somehow behaved.  Reached destination with time to spare, only for my old trusty car to act up twice more on the way home!  I let it sit itself out on the highway for some fifteen minutes and then it was good all the way home.  AAM said it was the battery but mechanic said it was most probably the gear box….. I’ll just send it off to the workshop for testings tomorrow.

 

Then the washing machine sprung a surprise.  It simply refused to drain.  All the coloured clothes were sitting in water for two hours.  A frantic phone call to my trusty washer repairman solved the problem.

All in, today made me poorer by more than RM500!!!

Needed to de-stress.  My younger teenager volunteered to go running with me after my older teenager bailed out on me!  So much for her promise to run with me after her exams!

Running with my younger teenager when she is at her ‘best zany’ behaviour was quite an experience.  We were side by side on our respective treadmills.  I was trying to run as fast as I could within the time limit, and there she was talking away with me, showing off her model running styles on the treadmill, how Olympians fast walk and how they sway their hips from side to side.  She was fun to have as a running partner but very distracting!!!  Her reason was that she could distract me from my aim of concentrating too hard on my speed and distance so that I may achieve better results?  Well it worked!!!  Today I did the longest distance ever in the same time frame.  

 

So, to my zany English tea-cup, thanks!  It was fun running with you.  My stressful day ended with laughter and fun, with you.   :)

Mother and AD

Mother’s Day had come and gone.  It was a bitter sweet day for me.  A day for me to celebrate as a mother with my children.  At the same time, it is also a time to celebrate it with my mother-in-law and my mother.  When my thoughts turn to my mother, that’s when it gets bitter sweet.

We celebrated with my mother last week and I thank God that on the day of the dinner, she was very much her old self.  There are now days when she is not…..

Alzheimer’s disease - I’ve seen it for some time now but have always refused to accept it.  Have been living in denial and refusing to accept that my mother could be inflicted with Alzheimer’s disease (AD).

This strong willed and determined woman, who never had it easy since she was young, is to now carry this dreaded disease to her grave.  AD will deprive her of the dignity she holds so dear. 

Orphaned at a young age, she took over as the head of the family although she was not the eldest.  Going into adulthood she had some years of carefree life….. then she got happily married and was widowed after slightly more than 10 years into her marriage. 

Reeling from the death of her husband with three young children to care for, she had to choice but to take on the role of the head of the family again.  Illiterate and uneducated she had to take over her husband’s small business.  It was either swim or drown but with three young children dependant on her, she had no choice but to swim no matter what.

All my life, I’ve viewed my mother as the strong willed woman, determined not to drown but to make it no matter what.  The matriarch of the family, a fantastic cook and a great seamstress!  Thus when the first signs of AD surfaced, I resented her – refusing to accept the fact that she could be inflicted with AD.

Now to know she is slowly to be robbed off her memory….. it is hard to see and to accept the matriarch of the family slowly degenerating but AD has no respect of persons.  It just comes and robs the person it had identified, and strips them of their dignity. 

Alzheimer's disease will cruelly leave the patient a prisoner in their own body whilst systematically eroding everything about them that makes them human.

My mother unfortunately has this progressive, degenerative disease that would rob her of her memory and dignity and would ultimately lead to her death. There is no cure but hope that her memory will last as long as it can. I have to come to terms with her disease now.

This is my once vibrant, strong, funny, loving, warm, precious mother, and she was talking to me, singing to me, smiling at me, laughing with me, taking care of me ...... now it is my turn to take care of her and pray that her memory will hold as long as possible ………

Self Pity - No, NO, NO!!

Self pity is one aspect that gets me readily ranting.  Having someone to tell me how their life could have been better if not for this and that, not taking responsibility for themselves but blaming others just plain irks the life out of me!  I get especially pissed when they put the blame on their parents! 

As far as I am concerned, if you have the will, you will find the ways and means to achieve your dream no matter what.  Feeling sorry for oneself is not the way to go forward.  Take a look at the lives below – they could have moan and wallow in self-pity but they did not.  So to those who blame others for not having achieving the best in their lives, I say go get a life!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself!!  Stop blaming others, do something for yourself.

There are numerous examples but I am quoting the two examples below who made a life for themselves despite challenging circumstances. Hopefully these true stories will knock some senses into you and get you out of your self-pity pit!

Khadijah, centre, modelling her graduation gown

Khadijah Williams - as long as she can remember, Williams has floated from shelters to motels to armories along the West Coast with her mother. She has attended 12 schools in 12 years; lived out of garbage bags among pimps, prostitutes and drug dealers. She has chosen not to criticize her mother. Instead, Williams said her mother inspired her to learn.  Read more about Khadijah Williams.

Liz Murray at her graduation

Liz Murray born to drug-addicted parents and homeless at 15.  Instead of blaming her parents, she left Harvard to care for her sick father and eventually graduated from Harvard.  Read about Liz Murray.

Ask yourself sincerely, is your life worse off than that of the two girls above?  No?  That’s what I thought! 

Stop blaming your parents.
Set an example for your children.

GO. GET. A. LIFE!

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

~ Anais Nin ~

One more to go!

I’ve set for myself some pretty ambitious goals for this year of my life, pushing myself to the limit.  I intend to achieve these goals before the completion of this year of my life here on planet earth.

Today I’ve received news that the 2^nd last goal had been achieved.  I am personally very happy with my achievement, in particular this achievement! I was literally jumping with joy - so happy!

I am now preparing to embark into a new phase of my life.  To venture into new business where there will be others’ rice bowls that I’ll truly be responsible for!  This is something I am apprehensive about but a challenge I am really looking forward to.   I want my operations to be different – niche - but niche does not necessarily mean high end, just niche.

With the above goal achieved, I now have one last goal to achieve.  I’ll put myself to the test in less than 60 days.  I hope to achieve this last goal that I’ve set for myself this year.  I want to start the next year of my life on planet earth with a BIG BANG!  I am looking forward to challenging myself.

Just one more goal to achieve .... the big bang!   :)

Great Brunch

Today the men in the family took charge of brunch.

They woke up before the women and went to work.  My youngest came up to instruct us not to go down until the table had been laid and food was ready to be served.

When brunch was ready to be served, we were personally escorted down by the youngest.  The women in the house were impressed.  Table was very neatly laid and the food was scrumptious!


Well done, guys! 
Brunch was great and delicious!  We could get use to this  :)

Exams

What do you do when a member of family is so stressed?  Tight as a stress ball in view of forthcoming exams which will determine her future?

All we can do as family members is to provide support – feed her, look out for her, listen to her when she needed to just unwind.

Most of all, we just pray that she’ll pull through.  Come what may, she would have tried her best and we will still love her no matter what the results.

Lord, help her when she walks into the exams

Give her the peace, when it is all said and done,

To know that she’ll walk in and do her best.

I pray, Lord, for your guiding hand as she takes the exams,

and I ask for your welcome calm

when she walks out of the exams after.

Lord, thank you for all the blessings you have placed in her life.

Thank you for being with her in this time when she feels a bit overwhelmed.

Thank you for always being there for her.

Praise be to Your name. Amen.