Mother and AD

Mother’s Day had come and gone.  It was a bitter sweet day for me.  A day for me to celebrate as a mother with my children.  At the same time, it is also a time to celebrate it with my mother-in-law and my mother.  When my thoughts turn to my mother, that’s when it gets bitter sweet.

We celebrated with my mother last week and I thank God that on the day of the dinner, she was very much her old self.  There are now days when she is not…..

Alzheimer’s disease - I’ve seen it for some time now but have always refused to accept it.  Have been living in denial and refusing to accept that my mother could be inflicted with Alzheimer’s disease (AD).

This strong willed and determined woman, who never had it easy since she was young, is to now carry this dreaded disease to her grave.  AD will deprive her of the dignity she holds so dear. 

Orphaned at a young age, she took over as the head of the family although she was not the eldest.  Going into adulthood she had some years of carefree life….. then she got happily married and was widowed after slightly more than 10 years into her marriage. 

Reeling from the death of her husband with three young children to care for, she had to choice but to take on the role of the head of the family again.  Illiterate and uneducated she had to take over her husband’s small business.  It was either swim or drown but with three young children dependant on her, she had no choice but to swim no matter what.

All my life, I’ve viewed my mother as the strong willed woman, determined not to drown but to make it no matter what.  The matriarch of the family, a fantastic cook and a great seamstress!  Thus when the first signs of AD surfaced, I resented her – refusing to accept the fact that she could be inflicted with AD.

Now to know she is slowly to be robbed off her memory….. it is hard to see and to accept the matriarch of the family slowly degenerating but AD has no respect of persons.  It just comes and robs the person it had identified, and strips them of their dignity. 

Alzheimer's disease will cruelly leave the patient a prisoner in their own body whilst systematically eroding everything about them that makes them human.

My mother unfortunately has this progressive, degenerative disease that would rob her of her memory and dignity and would ultimately lead to her death. There is no cure but hope that her memory will last as long as it can. I have to come to terms with her disease now.

This is my once vibrant, strong, funny, loving, warm, precious mother, and she was talking to me, singing to me, smiling at me, laughing with me, taking care of me ...... now it is my turn to take care of her and pray that her memory will hold as long as possible ………