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A hysterical scream on my right of the waiting marathon supporters greeted me as I ran towards the finishing line.  Then one more supporter was joining the first supporter in cheering me on.  I saw them – my two gorgeous teenagers cheering their mum on towards the finishing line.  Then I saw the man beaming with pride and running along with the teenagers cheering the woman on.

“Sprint to the finishing line, mum!  Run, mum, run.  You can make it, sprint!”  - and that was all I needed to pump me up ‘sprinting’ to the finishing line. 

I had of course also made up my mind much earlier that when I was reaching the finishing line, I must look good for the photographers whom I knew will be waiting there!   Hence the great photos taken of me  ;)  You may say, “Modesty, modesty where art thou?” – so be it.  I was as proud as I could be!

Today marks the week anniversary of the completion of my marathon run.  An event that I had vowed to myself that I must make it before I say goodbye to my 45 years on mother earth and embark on my 46^th year.

I am very happy to have achieved all my goals and the marathon was the last BIG one.  I am now looking forward to my 46^th year on mother earth.  There are great things in store for me and I welcome them with open arms.

Bags of nerves

I am a bag of nerves right now.  Have been browsing the event's website all week long, getting myself psyche up for the day. Although we may not be in the same event, it was good for me to know that there will be family members on that day?   Looks like that is not going to happen.....




The man just told me he is not feeling well.  :(











That makes two of them - the animal lover is already down with fever....

That may just leave me with the twitter fanatic who may bail out in view that the man and animal lover are not going....

There is still the glimmer of hope of....

The lovebirds who are scheduled to return tonight for the day's event .....







When the day comes, I'll have to subscribe, to firmly ingrain Lucretius' quote

"Constant dripping hollows out a stone."

Night out with parents

My younger teenager woke up with a severe pounding headache.  Despite that she managed to go for her drum lesson.  Amazing!

The previous night we had dinner with a group of close friends.  Fantastic home cooked Thai food.  And great chicken wings.  Then the wine came out followed by beer.  My younger teenager wanted to try drinking and to me, what better time than this when she was in the company of family friends and her parents.  To top it all, the great host had her favourite Belgium beer – Hoegaarden. 

I let her drink to her heart’s content thinking that she would stop after two bottles.  How wrong could I get!!!  I had forgotten she had her parents’ genes.  The good news was that she could hold her drinks but not her bladder!   So it was multiple trips to the toilet and some trips in not so straight a walking line…..

She had thought she would feel out of place being the only teenager in the company of her parents' friends.  Her parents' friends are after all over 50 years of age.  She found to her surprise she enjoyed herself immensely.  Yes, she had fun and the jokes though were odd to her, she managed to understand and had many good laughs.

It was especially hilarious when one of the ladies demonstrated the dramatic Chinese hair flick……

 

discovering that her father, in his heydays, was a part of the "Freakos" group and had attempted the "Night Fever" dance moves ....

and the highlight - when the host went on a rendition of “George of the Jungle”

Yes!  She discovered being in the company of her parents' friends could be fun after all. To quote her telling her sister :

“It was the best night ever.  So fun!  The host was so funny.  I had so much fun!”

Driving experience

The unpaid driver that I am, I am expected to know the destinations, to reach there on time and to fetch my teenagers on time.

Last weekend, one of my teenagers took a driving class lecture that lasted all of six hours.  What do you know – this teenager of mine now thinks she knows all there is to know about driving.

Instead of enjoying the rides like she used to, now I get to hear :-

“Look out you’re driving in the middle of the road!”   Not that I am, her eyes are.....

“Watch out, you’re going onto the kerb!”   Not that I am, her eyes are....

I’ve been driving for more than fifteen years with no problem.  Now with just six hours of driving class lecture, someone wants to teach me how to drive! 

The Chinese phrase  "我食盐多过你食米” literally meaning "I eat salt more than you eat rice" - used to describe someone who is younger or less experience applies here?

Ice-skating

Yesterday my two teenagers informed me that they would like to take their brother to ice-skating. That was a pleasant surprise announcement to me.  As their brother is much younger, a 9 years and 11 years gap for my respective teenagers, he can sometimes be a handful. 

Not one to loose out because of his age, he would argue with his sisters to get his way or simply make his stand.  They do find him an annoyance at times – so for them to want to take him ice-skating and just spend time with him, that was really nice of them.  I was touched by my teenagers' gesture.

This afternoon they went off happily ice-skating away.  I simply could not resist the temptation calling to check up on them.  I was a bit concerned in case he annoyed his sisters so I called my elder teenager only to be told off!  The announcement came that he had totally forgotten how to ice-skate and had to learn all over again.  I was so tempted to just go and see he was doing fine but I resisted it.  Well, I have to have more confidence in both of my teenagers taking care of their younger brother.

Four hours later, I received a call from my younger teenager exclaiming that her brother was soaked to the bones.  I was to bring him dry clothes to change as her younger brother wanted to continue ice-skating!  Apparently his teeth were chattering and that he needed dry clothes immediately.  I immediately dropped everything I was doing, pack dry clothes and made a hot chocolate to go.

Wet clothes notwithstanding, I found my son to be fine and dandy.  But my two teenagers, they were tired out!  My son took a number of tumbles but he totally enjoyed himself ice-skating with his sisters. 

It was a day well spent!  I am so proud of my teenagers taking their time off to spend it with their younger brother.  It was a good bonding time for all three of them.

Saturday - no plastic bag day

No plastic day – this has been in practice in the state of Selangor for some time.  As much as I try to practise recycling, I do find it hard sometimes.  Thus I try not to shop on Saturday.

Yesterday, well I simply forgot it was Saturday!  After sending one of my teenagers for her get-together with her friends in Putrajaya,  I had a long peaceful drive back into the city. 

So peaceful it was that I decided to blast my radio.  My teenagers would find this hard to believe but it was true, I was blasting my radio and singing away on top of my lungs.  It felt good!

At the last minute instead of turning home, I decided to go grocery shopping.  I bought lots of stuff – the trolley was full and threatened to spill over.  Reaching the payment counter, I realized to my horror it was a Saturday!!!!  No plastic bag day!!!!!

But I am not going to put all those things back!  After paying and getting to my car, I was so relieved to find in my car trunk (which has a lot of “just-in-case” items) lots of recycling bags that my teenagers insisted that I try to use.   

Packing the items into these recyclable bags really felt good!  It would have taken about 15 plastic bags but I managed to get in all into just 5 big recycling bags!  And the best part is – these bags can be reused!!!  Yes, I am happy using recyclable bags and will use them again.

A day's good ending

Today anything that could go wrong, did go wrong.

Firstly, my car started to stall on me in the middle of the highway!  The engine kind of pulled back and then it just went dead.  I thought it was the battery but when I tried it again, it worked.  So I went on my way for my appointments, then picked up my teenager and sent her to school.  Again, in the middle of the highway it acted up.  I was really nervous that I might not get my teenager to school on time.  Thankfully, it somehow behaved.  Reached destination with time to spare, only for my old trusty car to act up twice more on the way home!  I let it sit itself out on the highway for some fifteen minutes and then it was good all the way home.  AAM said it was the battery but mechanic said it was most probably the gear box….. I’ll just send it off to the workshop for testings tomorrow.

 

Then the washing machine sprung a surprise.  It simply refused to drain.  All the coloured clothes were sitting in water for two hours.  A frantic phone call to my trusty washer repairman solved the problem.

All in, today made me poorer by more than RM500!!!

Needed to de-stress.  My younger teenager volunteered to go running with me after my older teenager bailed out on me!  So much for her promise to run with me after her exams!

Running with my younger teenager when she is at her ‘best zany’ behaviour was quite an experience.  We were side by side on our respective treadmills.  I was trying to run as fast as I could within the time limit, and there she was talking away with me, showing off her model running styles on the treadmill, how Olympians fast walk and how they sway their hips from side to side.  She was fun to have as a running partner but very distracting!!!  Her reason was that she could distract me from my aim of concentrating too hard on my speed and distance so that I may achieve better results?  Well it worked!!!  Today I did the longest distance ever in the same time frame.  

 

So, to my zany English tea-cup, thanks!  It was fun running with you.  My stressful day ended with laughter and fun, with you.   :)

Mother and AD

Mother’s Day had come and gone.  It was a bitter sweet day for me.  A day for me to celebrate as a mother with my children.  At the same time, it is also a time to celebrate it with my mother-in-law and my mother.  When my thoughts turn to my mother, that’s when it gets bitter sweet.

We celebrated with my mother last week and I thank God that on the day of the dinner, she was very much her old self.  There are now days when she is not…..

Alzheimer’s disease - I’ve seen it for some time now but have always refused to accept it.  Have been living in denial and refusing to accept that my mother could be inflicted with Alzheimer’s disease (AD).

This strong willed and determined woman, who never had it easy since she was young, is to now carry this dreaded disease to her grave.  AD will deprive her of the dignity she holds so dear. 

Orphaned at a young age, she took over as the head of the family although she was not the eldest.  Going into adulthood she had some years of carefree life….. then she got happily married and was widowed after slightly more than 10 years into her marriage. 

Reeling from the death of her husband with three young children to care for, she had to choice but to take on the role of the head of the family again.  Illiterate and uneducated she had to take over her husband’s small business.  It was either swim or drown but with three young children dependant on her, she had no choice but to swim no matter what.

All my life, I’ve viewed my mother as the strong willed woman, determined not to drown but to make it no matter what.  The matriarch of the family, a fantastic cook and a great seamstress!  Thus when the first signs of AD surfaced, I resented her – refusing to accept the fact that she could be inflicted with AD.

Now to know she is slowly to be robbed off her memory….. it is hard to see and to accept the matriarch of the family slowly degenerating but AD has no respect of persons.  It just comes and robs the person it had identified, and strips them of their dignity. 

Alzheimer's disease will cruelly leave the patient a prisoner in their own body whilst systematically eroding everything about them that makes them human.

My mother unfortunately has this progressive, degenerative disease that would rob her of her memory and dignity and would ultimately lead to her death. There is no cure but hope that her memory will last as long as it can. I have to come to terms with her disease now.

This is my once vibrant, strong, funny, loving, warm, precious mother, and she was talking to me, singing to me, smiling at me, laughing with me, taking care of me ...... now it is my turn to take care of her and pray that her memory will hold as long as possible ………

Self Pity - No, NO, NO!!

Self pity is one aspect that gets me readily ranting.  Having someone to tell me how their life could have been better if not for this and that, not taking responsibility for themselves but blaming others just plain irks the life out of me!  I get especially pissed when they put the blame on their parents! 

As far as I am concerned, if you have the will, you will find the ways and means to achieve your dream no matter what.  Feeling sorry for oneself is not the way to go forward.  Take a look at the lives below – they could have moan and wallow in self-pity but they did not.  So to those who blame others for not having achieving the best in their lives, I say go get a life!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself!!  Stop blaming others, do something for yourself.

There are numerous examples but I am quoting the two examples below who made a life for themselves despite challenging circumstances. Hopefully these true stories will knock some senses into you and get you out of your self-pity pit!

Khadijah, centre, modelling her graduation gown

Khadijah Williams - as long as she can remember, Williams has floated from shelters to motels to armories along the West Coast with her mother. She has attended 12 schools in 12 years; lived out of garbage bags among pimps, prostitutes and drug dealers. She has chosen not to criticize her mother. Instead, Williams said her mother inspired her to learn.  Read more about Khadijah Williams.

Liz Murray at her graduation

Liz Murray born to drug-addicted parents and homeless at 15.  Instead of blaming her parents, she left Harvard to care for her sick father and eventually graduated from Harvard.  Read about Liz Murray.

Ask yourself sincerely, is your life worse off than that of the two girls above?  No?  That’s what I thought! 

Stop blaming your parents.
Set an example for your children.

GO. GET. A. LIFE!

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

~ Anais Nin ~

One more to go!

I’ve set for myself some pretty ambitious goals for this year of my life, pushing myself to the limit.  I intend to achieve these goals before the completion of this year of my life here on planet earth.

Today I’ve received news that the 2^nd last goal had been achieved.  I am personally very happy with my achievement, in particular this achievement! I was literally jumping with joy - so happy!

I am now preparing to embark into a new phase of my life.  To venture into new business where there will be others’ rice bowls that I’ll truly be responsible for!  This is something I am apprehensive about but a challenge I am really looking forward to.   I want my operations to be different – niche - but niche does not necessarily mean high end, just niche.

With the above goal achieved, I now have one last goal to achieve.  I’ll put myself to the test in less than 60 days.  I hope to achieve this last goal that I’ve set for myself this year.  I want to start the next year of my life on planet earth with a BIG BANG!  I am looking forward to challenging myself.

Just one more goal to achieve .... the big bang!   :)

Great Brunch

Today the men in the family took charge of brunch.

They woke up before the women and went to work.  My youngest came up to instruct us not to go down until the table had been laid and food was ready to be served.

When brunch was ready to be served, we were personally escorted down by the youngest.  The women in the house were impressed.  Table was very neatly laid and the food was scrumptious!


Well done, guys! 
Brunch was great and delicious!  We could get use to this  :)

Exams

What do you do when a member of family is so stressed?  Tight as a stress ball in view of forthcoming exams which will determine her future?

All we can do as family members is to provide support – feed her, look out for her, listen to her when she needed to just unwind.

Most of all, we just pray that she’ll pull through.  Come what may, she would have tried her best and we will still love her no matter what the results.

Lord, help her when she walks into the exams

Give her the peace, when it is all said and done,

To know that she’ll walk in and do her best.

I pray, Lord, for your guiding hand as she takes the exams,

and I ask for your welcome calm

when she walks out of the exams after.

Lord, thank you for all the blessings you have placed in her life.

Thank you for being with her in this time when she feels a bit overwhelmed.

Thank you for always being there for her.

Praise be to Your name. Amen.

Mother is still Mother

Today we've decided to have a family dinner to celebrate Mother’s Day.

My brother made a specific request

– that I bring the camera to dinner for a specific reason.

This request just hits home – mother is no longer the same……..

Yet mother is still mother……

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones – the ones at home.

~ Mother Teresa ~